Well, ok….so here I am …..runnin’ quite a bit behind….again. I would suppose its due in part to the situation at hand w/things makin’ yet another change.

The last drug did stop workin’. On the last checkup w/Keefer the #’s (C125) had gone up dramatically. As in over a 100 pts increase. Now, remember that numbers were quite high when it was first initiated. Starting at …oh…..without looking around 393 and then they dropped somewhat down to around 323 over three cycles (3wks on – 1wk off). This would make it over a course of …what….3 months. When Nancy asked Keefer what the numbers were of course he didn’t want to tell her. He just kinda put his head on his hand and stated what the report indicated. His comment was that he would come up with something as he had always done before. I guess I was hoping that it was going to continue to work for a time. I knew it wasn’t goin’ to be the cure-all but did hope it would continue to lower the numbers and it would last over a long period of time. Didn’t happen! Hello, it didn’t happen…again!

So here we are once again doing some experimentation on if something else will work for a period of time. New drug – Navelbine (that would be “bine” or “bean” or as “they” call it NavyBean). I myself thought that it sounded more like some type of foreign orange since I relate navel to “navel oranges”. Something for everyone – if you like doin’ chemo drugz!

This is what they call a “push drug” meaning that it is an injectable (injection if for intravenous administration – is that supposed to be injected by an administrator – just use plain descriptions ….please!). It’s a breast cancer drug (do you see the pattern) which is what the last drug was for. Now, I know that Mike (oncologist) is a great physician and I have a lot of faith in is methodology and what he has done over the course of this past 61/2yrs….but….you keep tryin’ breast cancer drugz….it means to Nancy & I that we/she has exhausted all available drugz that are Ovarian Cancer related drugz. There are no more that she can use and Keef stated that they don’t ordinarily “reuse” drugz that were previously used but he also hasn’t ruled that aspect out. I – Nancy just feel like it’s another attempt of prolonging the inevitable. I dunno peepz …….whatz a person supposed to do.?

This last week …..actually the week before we went to the bank and talked w/Nancy’s investment person (before going to chemo treatment) and she drew out several thousands of dollars. Now, you’re asking why? Well we met w/the funeral people (actually a really nice chik – as in around a 50yr old chik) and made arrangements for where we will both reside after we depart – meaning Nancy sooner than me (given I don’t get run over on my bike while out trainin’ this season).

I have a really hard time wrappin’ my head around all of this. She’s payin’ not only for her burial but mine as well……doesn’t seem quite right to me. Anyway, she wanted/needed to get this done since she wants to be “put” really close to where Staci’s at – which was accomplished and we/she will be about two locations down from where she’s at on the same bottom level. This way so that when short people come to see her they won’t have the inconvenience of havin’ to stand on their tippie toes or do some type of cranial adjustment to see what’s written or to put things on the front of the marker.

Cremation – that’s how we’re both goin’. I’m just followin’ her and we’re savin’ a ton on money on the overall expenses. Now, does that not seem really somewhat bizarre? You look for a bargain even in death and someone’s makin’ money off of ya as you’re dyin’. But, we both decided that a casket which is absolutely worthless and the huge amount of money that they cost will eventually deteriorate after a short period of time and the investment (what – 5grand minimum for a box?) isn’t quite worth the end result. Additionally, the chik stated that what we/she was getting was also a Memorial Day special…..read that again….? For those of you who do read this and think about planning for the ultimate rejection you may want to consider doing this around this time of year and capitalize on the “special” and you can save a several hundreds of dollars by doing so. They should actually advertise for this – get it now – currently running the “Memorial Day Special” – save lotza money – going fast – get yours’ now!

Please….do not misunderstand me and what I’m sayin’. BUT, I am havin’ an extremely hard time w/dealin’ with all of this. I have to try to redirect myself all the time to keep from bein’ engulfed in the sadness of what lies in front of me. Life without Nancy – it’s actually like no life at all for me. Despair, it’s the thought of continual sadness over something that I have no control over. It defeats me!

Nancy continues to be Nancy – always a smile – always the “Good Morning” that I have always looked forward to “every morning”!

At this point I think I’ll stop now….for now….I will try to make the updates more often. Maybe one of you who ventures to this blog will comment on why I’m draggin’ my ass and request an immediate update – stop bein’ a bum – we want info – you know – stay on me……it is Tri season ya know.

So groovy people…..until next time – stay kewl (it’s the only way to stay) and remember…..
Train hard, train smart, keep your head up and at the races you’ll kick ass!

As always – Mucho love,
Roger

p.s. tell me if you don't like the font colors...i'll go from there.