Well….I’m runnin’ about a week behind on my update. Had to give myself some time to digest everything and get settled w/my thoughts so I don’t totally blow it.

Nancy’s monthly appointment did not produce anything positive this time around. The numbers from her blood work increased by 50 points. This is not something you think of as bein’ positive and just when things seemed to be goin’ good with this previous drug. The numbers were goin’ down slowly and things looked to be good. Then a big spike! This sucks!

So now it’s a new drug – Arimidex. Keefer (Oncologist) gave her a month’s worth of samples. Samples?...samples...? It’s of my inherent thinking that a cancer drug that you get samples of is not really worth damn. I did some price checking and for a 30 day script it would be around $325/month. Cheap cancer drug……? The etopiside that “was” working had a price tag of $1000/20pills. You do the math. To me (and I’m sure Nancy) this is nothing more than a……gee….take these and I hope it works kinda deal……damn,damn,damn!!

So I asked Nancy the other night (several days after the appointment-which I didn’t go – her and Staci went together ‘cuz they were goin’ to go see a movie together – which I felt was good to stay outa the picture and let them have this time together) while I was fixin’ dinner (breakfast @night) if when things change like this do you view it as …”well, this is it time to die”…kind of thinking. Of course I knew the answer but it’s not something that she would ever just tell me. And of course that’s what she thinks. What else could you do but not think this! You don’t just switch from a drug that stopped working to a drug that appears to be nothing more than a shot in the dark and think it's goin' to be okay. Hell yeah….that’s exactly what you’d think.

We still don’t talk much about the aspect of dyin’ yet. I mean after 61/2 yrs of doin this crap it just seems like a normal part of our lives and we just go with the flow. I seem to think most of the time that this is just another drug and another chance to keep prolongin’ things. I suppose when things stop working is when we’ll have more talks about dyin’. Not somethin’ I’m really lookin forward to.

At this point and time I’m really not quite sure “exactly” what Nancy thinks about it all. I do know that she is very tired of it all. She stays as upbeat as she can and she does it ‘cuz of Staci. I believe that the two of them gather strength from each other and it gets them through at times. I really believe that both of them are growing very weary of living this type of life. Staci more than Nancy since she’s been wheelchair bound for quite some time now. I can’t really get into that side of it….it’s not my place.

So groovy people……this all comes at the holiday time and you’re just thankful (well..I’m thankful) that I don’t have to spend this season alone…….I can’t help but feel, think that time does grow short….kinda like the song by Chesney – Good Stuff.

So, it is Thanksgiving Day and I do have lots to be thankful for. Still havin’ Nancy around is what I am most definitely the most thankful for!

That’s it for now!

As always…mucho love,
Roger

Well, here I am once again. I hope that all of you will take note that I am updating this within a very timely manner unlike other times where I have slacked and waited a week or so. I will give myself some extra kudos for bein’ sucha good boy!

Okay, Nancy went to see the Oncologist this morning. I was not able to make it since I had some prior commitments that were unavoidable w/a work training session that has been in progress since the first of the month. I would have to honestly say that this was the first time I’ve missed a Dr.’s appointment in …oh…what….like 4-5 years now since this has been going on for 6yrs/3months.

The news was quite good! Nancy’s C-125#’s had dropped “some”. They are now down to 112 from 117. One would think that this was not significant. But when you are battling cancer you look at everything as being significant. Now, this drug (again for those that don’t retain information well) etopiside (I just love that I can spell a cancer drug and know what it is) is doing quite well …still! The side effects are still somewhat minimal. Always, always the perpetual fatigue that Nancy has to deal and cope with. Goes to bed tired/wakes up tired. Her appetite is not on a normal level. Most of the times when we get ready for lunch, dinner we always have this since of aggravation as to what. She doesn’t care. I would like to see that she gets something nutritional and healthy into her system and maintain that every day. Doesn’t happen most of the time. So we improvise and do ….basically…whatever. As I’ve stated before; Nancy is really quite healthy….she just has Ovarian cancer of the 3rd degree (that’s Stage 3 for most of you who don’t have a clue).

Her right arm is still an issue and her fingers sometimes seem to “lock up” as in a cramping type of effect. She hasn’t said much about the constant “tingling” effect that has been so prevalent for the past 10 months. But then again….that’s how Nancy is. She isn’t going to complain much about anything ‘cuz she thinks it’s annoying to those us that hear it. Can you imagine that somewhat going through what she has had to endure for the past 6.3yrs would think that she is “annoying someone” with the challenges that she has to face every single day. Example; imagine (I’ve stated this before) that you would not be able to unscrew the cap off of a bottle of water. Or know that you are holding a pen to write with. Or that you can’t pull the plastic seal off of some instant mashed potato item. Just imagine!

She is still the “Ironman” of the family. I just did the race…..I knew where the finish line was.

SHE DOESN’T!

So you guyz keep her in your prayers! Think of her often!

I also know that she would like it if you remembered Staci (you know her only daughter w/the two grandchildren who is only 40 who has Stage4 Breast Cancer) in your prayers.

This is her greatest concern!

Okay, I’ll close now. I am including a coupla pics. These pics are of my “identical twin granddaughters”!!

They are now the “Gartman Duo” –

Invincible! Incredible! They are Jaidyn and Aubree Gartman!

As always…
Mucho love!
Roger

Well, here I am again w/another update. So I’m a week late….I am entitled to some type of failure that is to be excused at times.

Nancy’s numbers did a little more of a drop. I suppose she seemed upbeat about that. As long as they continue to decline that’s a good thing! Didn’t see Keefer but saw this chick doctor and this was my first time to see her w/Nancy….that sounds sorta different since I’ve neva seen her even w/o Nancy. I am merely a spectator…its Nancy’s version of competition as opposed to my type of competition.

Of course if you were to reference this type of activity as competitive she would be a gold medal recipient and w/many plaques’ to go along w/that as well. She would be a top performer and a true standout! I still have no clue as to how she puts this altogether every single day….the constant fatigue…..the constant…..now knowing…the constant, constant that is always constant. I still have this to add that this chemo pill (oral chemo therapy- etopiside) has had the least side effects of any of the other lethals that have been intravenously given over this past 6.3yrs.

She has an upset stomach quite often. Has certain reaction to certain types of food. Doesn’t care much for red meat and prefers chicken. Eats a ton of cottage cheese….tons….well…a whole helluva lot! Then there is this ongoing issue w/her right arm….this is the most prevalent issue as far as physical aspects of the side effects. I don’t think that this is ever going to get better and I do hope that it does not escalate any more than what appears to be at this point. It really is a drag!! At times if not all the time holding a pencil is a task let alone write. Imagine not being able to take the lid off a bottle of water or pop off the top of a Tupperware dish. Think about the smallest of chores that we all do every day that we take for granted. I wished this would go away! I stated before and I’ll state again….I’m an Ironman...but Nancy is the true Ironman of the family!! My race was started and finished…Nancy is still competing at hers.

So, I’ll end this conversation for the evening.

Remember, it really is All About Nancy!

As always…mucho love!
Roger

p.s. I’ve got another music list…it’s really big….I’ll post it later...I always have the best music!!

Well...it seems I've found a new toy w/this playlist thing. So I made a new playlist of love songs to and for Nancy. She has heard them all and I will continue to add to this particular list as time passes by.

The first song that will play is the "very first" love song I ever played for Nancy. Just about says it all. Being a hopeless romantic is one of my good qualities (which are few) but hey.....I keep tryin'!

So, as before click on the "popout" and click to start playing.

Click the Popout window for this player to load and autoplay

IAmTri

Life without Triathlon is not living!

Find more music like this on iAmTri

Well, I’m just about a week late from last week’s visit to Keefer’s office (Nancy’s Oncologist). Things are looking betta w/the #’s. Cancer….it’s always about the numbers. Like gambling….there’re always runnin’ numbers. And like cancer, numbers are also prone to be deadly and of course someone comes to kill you if you’re doin’ the illegal numbers for not paying up. Either way, if one thing doesn’t kill ya another will.

Sometimes I feel like I have this shroud hanging around of impending death. It’s just something that you sometimes have to come to terms with and try not to let it drive you insane. In my case of course I am at that point and have been ever since I was….probably 6yrs. old. I think it was because I really hated drinking milk and I did not develop correctly.

So, for the serious part….Nancy was quite pleased as were I and Keefer. He stated that this was the good part of being an Oncologist. Being able to see good results from the serious decisions that have to be made and feel confident of the success from those decisions. Very special people! Nancy has one of the best I believe. We always talk like family for a bit before the checkup. He’s into Taekwondo (along w/his son) and Nascar. One time on his birthday he went the Texas Motor Speedway and drove one of those autos. I have no idea on how long or how fast. I know he had to have had a ball. This dude has to be under a huge amount of stress and I know that Nancy oftentimes has real concerns for him and always tells him that. I mean….c’mon…..after 61/2yrs we are like family. We know everybody. Everybody knows us. We just don’t have family dinners or go on vacations together.

Ok, so just a quick update on Staci (Nancy’s daughter if you’ve neva been here before). HHHHmmmmm……she continues to struggle and has had to go back to doin’ this certain type of chemo drug that has some real harsh side effects. I know she was bummed (from what Nancy says) and I can’t say that I understand that but I do have an idea of how this goes. I won’t get too involved w/any details ‘cuz ya just neva know if someone is goin’ to get really bent about discussing their life in these types of settings. I did provide a link at one time to Staci’s blog so check it out sometime. She hasn’t been able to update it for the past 3months. Maybe I’ll see if she would like for me to play secretary and she can dictate to me what she would like to post. Imagine that……someone dictating to me!!!! Sounds absolutely ludicrous! But hey….that’s just the kinda guy I am.

Well….I’ve said enough for this time around. Hope I made some kinda sense to everyone….if not…well….that’s just me:)!

Mucho love,
Roger (Ironman)

See the orange looking figure. That is a catamarran that was on the course during swim workouts prior to the race. It is a "coffee bar" where you could hang off the edge of the pontoons and have "kold or hot coffee" (Kona coffee) or kold water or gatorade. You just hang around bobbing in the water chatting w/everyone and then you take back off to go further out or back in to the shore. This was located 700 meters from the start.

Well, now it's been about a month since the last post. So I seem to be on top of things to some extent. There has not been much of a change w/Nancy. She is still using this chemo pill (etopiside). I feel really smart for the fact that I am able to spell some pharmaceutical drug. This drug has had a lot less side effects than all of the others. That's a real plus!! Of course Nancy continues to stay infinitely fatigued from the time she wakes up until she goes to bed. I still have no idea or clue how she performs throughout each and every day. I am totally amazed how she functions like that. She does seem to be sleeping quite well for the most part these days. Seems like it's been quite awhile since she's got up in the middle of the night and gone in and layed on the couch to try and go back to sleep. But at times she might lay there for a couple of hours before she fall back asleep. It's just an ongoing continual process. I suppose it's really good that she has me to create these always ever present ongoing diversions! It's quite simple for me 'cuz all I have to do is just "act normal" and "be myself".
There's really a whole lot more goin' on at this point that involves Staci but I believe I will forego the update to her situation. If you're interested you can go here Staci. She has not updated her blog for the past two months but if you've neva been there you'll get the basic idea. Maybe next time I'll expound on that.
So muchacos, I will catch up to ya l8r on!

Mucho love,
Roger

Well, you know it’s been so long since I last did an entry. There’s been so much that has gone on since “September”! Sheez, you would think that I would be more on top of things since it has been ….what….10 months!! What a bum!

So let me see….since we’ve been to the IM World Championships in Kona, HI in October of ’07; there’s been Halloween….that was okay since we don’t dress up anymore and go house to house to get free stuff. Even adults have to be cautious these dayz!

Then we had Thanksgiving. That was all good. Had all the usual stuff. I know Nancy did a lot of the cooking…I know I did some….I know I did…’cuz I’m a good boy….but all in all it was a good holiday. Actually, any day w/Nancy is a good day. Too bad most of you miss out on that!

Now, we move on to Christmas. Again, another good holiday w/Nancy and this would mark a full year that she has been back doin’ chemo w/o any breaks in between. I’ll also add New Years in here to. Always a good time when you have Nancy w/you, she just seems to make the start of a new year a good one.

Valentine’s Day: we usually go somewhere before that day just to avoid the freaked out mass of crowds that show up for this celebration. Honestly, I cannot remember where we went. I did buy some really, really kewl flowers. But, of course I always send really kewl flowers!
Okay, next up the anniversary April 13, 2008. THIS WOULD BE FIFTEEN YEARS!!!! What a deal! She has actually managed to make it w/me for this long w/o going crazy. Nancy and I have actually been together for 19yrs.!!! That is just too incredible!!!

Now, its summertime (deep in summer) and things are going on at a normal pace. I’m training a lot and have only done one race so far. I do have a very short sprint triathlon this weekend of which Nancy will be there as usual. Then I have another race in AR next month. This one will be over 5hrs. and it will be furnace hot and humid. I am always concerned about Nancy being out so long in that heat…she’ll be able to go to the car and kool off some...off and on…but still it is a concern for me. One thing you have to remember is that she endured Ironman and it took me 13:58:15 hrs to complete. It wasn’t as hot….but damn!!!...what a long day!!!.....she is the true Ironman in the family!!

So there is another story going on here that is of substantial mention and that would be Staci. That’s Nancy’s only daughter. She is due to be released from the hospital Thursday afternoon. She had to have surgery on her brain to remove a tumor. She is a stage4 breast cancer survivor. I’ll include the link to her blog that I would encourage you to take a look at it. Staci > you really should check this out! If you don’t I would hate to send Vic over to see you!! You should know that Vic is not someone you want visiting you.

Okay, so thanks for listening to my endless babble. I hope you’ll be back more often and I’ll try to do a betta job on the updates.

So as always; Mucho Love,
Roger